Use the Babylon Candle~ OH, wait, I'm sorry, the "Bubbling" Candle--think of your mother---oh but no, wait, what about Victoria~---and...

[ she can't even go on making fun, she just stops, a mild snort of indignity, the sound that equates to the rolling of eyes ]

Mm, well you are something of a moron and even if you aren't a flying one you certainly were a falling one.