❂ tenth | audio post

[gazingup]

Thirteen reasons why Yvaine is a Venomous Spider Woman.

1) She is not Victoria.
2) She shrieks like a banshee.
3) She never stops yelling.

4) She can always find something to complain about.
5) She hates everything on earth, especially me.
6) She can't sleep at a normal hour.
7) She goes off without warning to live with strange men.
8) I have to constantly worry about her.
9) There is a deranged witch trying to cut out her heart.
10) A deranged witch trying to kill her means a deranged witch trying to kill me.
11) I have to protect her and myself from said witch.
12) She's making the journey back to Wall take far longer than it should.
13) She's plotting to steal my mushroom.

Comments

[2ndnightshift.livejournal.com]

You'll be probably getting a lot of this but 1, 8, 9-11 and 12 don't sound like they're her fault at all.

Most importantly, she's not a spider.

[gazingup.livejournal.com]

I'm quite aware of that. I mean, it was intended to be a metaphor.

[2ndnightshift.livejournal.com]

Where are you from again?

Because in America there are only three venomous spider breeds to worry about. And even metaphorically speaking, I don't think any of them are quite like Yvaine.

Besides the fact that I think you're pretty bias.

[gazingup.livejournal.com]

Wall, England.

And how much time have you spent with her, sir? Clearly you've only seen one side of her, if any.